Meli, full of thoughts

Today, the fourth of August of the year 2016, I came to a firm realization.

I am not a figment of my own imagination. I am not a viewer of the repressed and oppressed. I am not a third person narrator. I am not invisible. I am not an observer.

In some way... I have always found myself stepping back from any situation I've ever been faced with, and in so many cases... I have neglected myself because of it. Sometimes, I guess that it was due to the fear of becoming something I wasn't... or the fear of becoming someone I am.

It's strange to look back on the events today that allowed me to reflect on my existence so far.

I have weight and I occupy space in this three-dimensional world. I exist on this plane of reality. People see me and rely on me. I also have needs.

It's been very easy to not see these things when I barely give myself credit, but...

I'm here.

I might not get as much recognition as the next person who has created a cure for some kind of sickness or the next person who springs up to become the next president of the United States... I might not be remembered by thousands of people for appearing in several movies and TV shows.

But... in someway, I will be spotted out of a crowd when trying to meet a friend. I might get hugged really tight when someone I love hasn't seen me in a very long time. I might be the one to make them laugh and surprise myself at how funny I am.

And that's quite a feeling.

Quite a feeling I'm not used to.